I wrote some weeks ago about the pleasure of learning, of those moments when you realise you’re doing something you couldn’t do before.
It’s often obvious with physical attainments, like dancing.
Normally less so, with mental attainments, particularly artistic ones like writing poetry.
Abd even less obvious with psychological changes, like the maturing of your personality.
But sometimes it is possible to notice yourself reacting differently and more positively.
In my recent exchanges with my ex, I noticed I was able to set clearer boundaries for what I will accept. To defend those boundaries with a calm backed up by the readiness to be firm or even angry if needed. To trust myself to read other people, not perfectly, but with enough confidence to be willing to explore and voice and act on my perceptions. To be able to be firm, even angry, without losing compassion and a sense of fairness. To voice what I feel with appropriate force but without drama or oversentimentality.
I have come a long way, in a year. It’s a good place to be, particularly now when I find myself able to start dating again.
I wonder what the next year will bring.