Together – a Burmese Climbing rhyme

So they were true,
the words you said!
I knew, deep down –
yet still found it
astounding we
could stop grieving
so easily –
once more free, to
just be in love.
Like a dove wings
above the wood
to her good home,
we could nest too,
me and you, with
our wounds now healed.

>>>
This is my first attempt at a Burmese climbing rhyme, an intriguing form that I came across thanks to Michelle at Poefusion, who came across it at The Miss Rumphius Effect. Each line is of four syllables, and uses end and internal rhymes in the following pattern: 

x x x a
x x a x
x a x b
x x b x
x b x c
x x c x
x c x x

(Edit – I’ve just realised it’s possible to go on indefinitely with this form, so have expanded the poem beyond its original seven lines!)

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6 responses to “Together – a Burmese Climbing rhyme

  1. Ooh Lirone, this is beautiful and sad in one. When we stop grieving and move on its a testament to who we’ve become. Your attempt at this form is impeccable. Thanks for giving it a try. Have a nice day.

  2. interesting to see this, thanks

  3. love what you’ve added. i think old, healed wounds allow us to begin fresh and strong, nurturing us. keep up the good work.

  4. This is a lovely, lyrical piece Lirone.

  5. This is lovely and so unforced with its rhyme and imagery.

  6. yes, i agree it is a beautiful lyrical poem… i thought of a feather floating..

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