Dancing – a ghazal

Life’s music may set our arms mourning or our feet dancing
And yet whatever its melody, we are always dancing

A bright lightning flashes between the minds and hearts
Of a man and the desirable woman he espies dancing

Some may baulk, finding dancing too spontaneous or sensuous
Yet who can live freely who is hesitant when he tries dancing?

Revelling in compatibility and caressed with compliments,
Lovers smile at each other, their bright eyes dancing.

Some spin webs to trap their lovers and bind them close
Yet love is starved by conversations that are merely lies dancing.

Love has a power to give our fleeting lives
The brilliant beauty of butterflies dancing

Some walk the journey of their life, others run or crawl.
Happiest those whose words sing, who spend their lives dancing.

This is my first attempt at a ghazal, prompted by totallyoptionalprompts, on whose site you can find links to guidance on this form, and will soon be able to find examples by other poets. It’s a challenging form and I’ve not quite got the hang of it yet!

Edit – I’ve just been reading more about the Ghazal (HT to Brad) and have changed the last line, which used to be: “But the wise and happy travel through their lives, dancing”.

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17 responses to “Dancing – a ghazal

  1. This is fantastic Lirone. I have written a few Ghazals recently. Looking forward to sharing some ideas on this wonderful form. Well done.

  2. Your first attempt at the ghazal is a good one. And, everyone can relate to dancing. Nice job. Have a nice day.

  3. A great poem that causes motion in the reader.

    Rose

    xo

  4. i have to say as a first ghazal this was wonderfully crafted… i have written a couple and i am always thrilled with the outcome…

  5. It’s a fascinating form to play with.

    I’m struck by how, through practicing different forms, you build up an instinctive feel for what subjects it will work for.

    And also for the word patterns it uses – I’m quite used to playing with repetition, rhyme and rhythm, but this rhyme-refrain combination is interesting – both constraining and freeing.

  6. Very nice. I find the ghazal tricky, but you pulled this one off well.

    -Nicole

  7. I had fun being with your Ghazal.
    Thanks,
    Karen
    P.S.
    yoo-hoo, Patrick Swayze… you can call me “Baby.”//put me in a corner or take me dirty dancing

    (see how much fun we are having!)

  8. Really joyful, great first attempt!

  9. Great job! Enjoyed the way this poem flowed and danced….

  10. Good effort, well done and Amen to that last line!

  11. Excellent, I love dancing and so particularly enjoyed this ghazal.

  12. Nicely done. I felt I could dance along with it.

  13. Lovely ghazal. I love dancing even though I can’t do it at the moment. However, I can dance on the inside.

    I’d never even heard of a ghazal until TOP, but I had a try at one. It turned out that my ghazal is a bit depressing Waiting for Daylight, so I wrote a happy haiku about dancing… I can hear music ๐Ÿ™‚

    -Bev

  14. Dancing has to go on my list of things to do after reading this.

  15. Dear lirone,

    Such an animated poem. The verses dances beautifully. ๐Ÿ™‚
    And I think I like the original last line better. ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. Thanks for all your comments – glad I’ve put so many of you in a dancing mood!

    Bev – yes, dancing definitely starts in the heart before it gets into physical expression. Though the physical is good and I hope you get back to it soon!

    Stan – I definitely recommend it!

    Felicity, thanks for your comments! Apparently the final couplet of a ghazal should make some reference to the name or pseudonym of the writer, which was why I changed it!

  17. Dear Lirone,

    Well if that’s the case, you have worked that in beautifully. ๐Ÿ™‚

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