Inner light

I thought I saw your inner light, burning valiant, sweet and true
And I loved and cherished the brillant flame which I thought was you.

I noticed the flickerings of your fire as it struggled to burn old, bitter fuel
But still you shone with such integrity I was sure you would never be cruel

And then I saw that light turn cold as ice, suddenly lashing out at me
With the cruelty of desperate fear – the shock almost worse than the misery.

Later still, I saw that light half-choked in a mound of jagged metal rubble
I cut my hands trying to set you free, but my efforts only worsened your trouble

And now I wonder if that inner light was ever truly there at all
Or just an illusion I wanted to believe, now vanished beyond recall.

This was partly inspired by a prompt at read write poem to write about light – check out what other poets have produced here.


8 responses to “Inner light

  1. Your long lines give a noble sound to the poem. The narrator’s musings and questions are universal in nature.

  2. I like the long lines too,

  3. Great ending to this piece and yes, the longer lines work well.

  4. Thanks for your comments!

    I started off with half-length alternate rhymed lines… but it just felt too bitty… glad you approve of my decision to merge them into single lines.

  5. i agree the long lines and rhyme are soothing to the story… fire and ice… ouch, burr…

  6. I like how you develop the view of this inner light through the progress of the poem and I love rhyme when it’s done well like this. It’s refreshing to see.

  7. This one really gets me Lirone, coming as I am from thinking someone had really changed for the better to realizing they’ve actually gotten worse. I love the last two lines but the whole motif of the light that turns out to be perhaps an illusion is very powerful.

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