Illness – Friday five poem

Energy levels just crash through the floor.
Queasy stomach tolerates yogurt – but no more.
Gravel rattles in the chest and makes the throat sore.
Tissues streaked with ochre proliferate, abhorred.
And a kettle malfunction is just the last straw!

(Though I do have to say, I love getting to stay,
In my warm cosy bed so much more!)

This little poemlet was inspired by a recent cold and stomach bug – not to mention the very untimely demise of my kettle just when it was most needed for making hot comforting drinks! It was also built around the Friday five at poefusion – a challenge to write a poem including the words crash, yoghurt, gravel, straw and ochre.

It was written aiming to convey humour rather than self pity, though I’m not sure it entirely comes out… it probably needs to be read aloud, with a tone of exaggerated and increasing misery in the first part building almost to tears, then a pause before delivering the last two lines with a large and somewhat smug grin!

Oh, and I’m sorry, but the somewhat disgusting image in the fourth line was both apt and the only way I could find to incorporate the word ochre!

I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear I’m feeling better now and less likely to inflict “poems” like this on innocent readers in future…. 😉

Thanks for Mr Rob T at Flickr for providing a much needed cup of hot lemon and honey!

Advertisements

14 responses to “Illness – Friday five poem

  1. I could definitely find the humor in this. You had trouble with ‘ochre’ and for me it was ‘yogurt’.

  2. Hi Pam – thanks for stopping by and for your comments. Must go over and find out how you conquered your yoghurt problem!

  3. Interesting poem, isn’t it how it always is, things always break when you needed them the most

    btw: I came looking for your patchwork poem but the link got an 404 error, either you forgot to publish your patchwork poem or the link you have in the Patchwork site comment is wrong

  4. Very creative! I love the idea of your illness being a good excuse to stay in bed all day. Though I don’t enjoy being sick, I do like that I get to just lay around and do nothing! lol

  5. Good morning Lirone~ Glad to hear you are feeling better. Getting to stay in the bed is the best part of being sick. I am sorry your kettle broke though. That was surely trying in your time of sickness. I know it would have been for me. Nice job with the words. Have a nice day.

  6. i had to change my domain name to whypaisley.com please change your links and or feed as necessary

    all you will have to do is remove the – from between why and paisley,, everything else will remain the same and will redirect you to the correct page…. sorry for the inconvenience…

  7. Glad to report that I now have a new kettle which is keeping me well supplied with hot water!

    The other nice thing about being ill is the first day when you really feel better and full of energy again, and appreciate being able to do things – yesterday I did a lot of cooking which was great fun!

    Lissa – thanks for pointing out the broken link – it’s fixed now.

  8. You used the words so well in this poem! I love, “Gravel rattles in the chest and makes the throat sore.” That’s genius!

  9. Definitely not self-pitying – strong, if slightly repulsive images, and, yes, humour. I liked the gravelly chest.

  10. Well I think it worked perfectly – and very funny.

  11. Great job! Ochre tissues, yuck! Hope you feel better.

  12. I know, I know, the ochre tissues aren’t the nicest of images… but then colds are by their nature rather yucky so I make no apologies!

    Thanks to all those who sent their best wishes – I am now fully recovered!

  13. Glad you are back up – rekettled and recovered. I definitely enjoyed reading this!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s