100 posts and counting…

Post 101 seems a good milestone to reflect on what I’ve been blogging about over the last three months and where I want to go with my blog next… a lot has happened since I started this blog in February.

Loving – When I started this blog I was still very much preoccupied and miserable following the break-up. In particular, I was deeply frustrated at being unable to express, to my ex, what I had been feeling and learning. The blog has really helped me here – somehow expressing these things in a public forum has helped me to feel that I have said what I needed to say. And while there’s no reason why he should ever read this blog, the fact that it’s theoretically possible for him to read this honest and frank version of my experiences, has had some of the same effect as writing to him would have done. Already I find I am writing about him far less than at the beginning, and I suspect there won’t be much more. Though I am continuing to write the “Songs to heal a broken heart” cycle and will be posting the recording of one of the songs shortly, as promised. 

Singing and Writing – In February I was confused and frustrated with my singing – finding that most of the music I was used to singing was too emotionally loaded for me to be able to sing it without crying. And feeling deeply frustrated that this came about at a time when I should have been trying to make progress professionally, doing auditions and so on. Both through blogging itself and through posting my poems, I have discovered a new creative outlet in my writing. This, and my newly discovered song-writing, seems to allow me to express myself in a way that’s even more important to me. I’ve also relaxed about the professional singing – it’s not the only thing that matters to me, and I think I would probably find it deeply frustrating and demoralising to do it professionally. I’m exploring a new creative path, and somehow doing it with a new integrity. My writing, and the singing I do, are much more intimately connected to who I am.  There will definitely be more poems – and I’d like to start writing some short stories as well as the poems. And as I start to get back into my singing again, and try to find performance opportunities here, I think I will be writing more about singing too.

Living – I was also deeply frustrated at work, not feeling challenged or stimulated, and feeling dragged down by the boredom of doing things that were routine. I also felt that there was nowhere for me to go in that career path, but didn’t feel ready to move on to anything else. Suddenly an opportunity came up, and I was successful in getting a new and challenging job which has brought me to a new country. The new life has its challenges, but I’m already making progress in tackling the loneliness inevitable in the early days (a social engagement almost every day this week which is great!). And there is a satisfaction in finding myself up to the new challenge – it requires me to go beyond my comfort levels. This isn’t really a work blog, because describing too much of what I do would completely blow my anonymity, but I will probably continue to reflect, in general terms, on things that might be of interest.

Sharing – A very important part of this journey has been making connections with other bloggers and watching their thoughts or artistic endeavours or emotional lives develop day by day. I have particularly enjoyed the collaborative writing – it’s fascinating to see how other people respond to different material. And the encouraging comments I’ve received have been a deep satisfaction. The listeners are an an important part of the storytelling, and to have an audience both perceptive and supportive is a real encouragement.  I look forward to continuing this dialogue and meeting new blog-friends!

Thanks for being part of my journey, readers…

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5 responses to “100 posts and counting…

  1. Congratulations on the milestone. I didn’t realize you were a singer until I saw this post and another you recently did about starting up your singing practice. It’s been great to see your blog evolve.

  2. Hi Lirone. Thanks for dropping by the Cafe and for your generous words of encouragement. You have created a wonderfully inspired and inspiring space here. Congratulations and thank you.

  3. Did you find it challenging to expand beyond the focus of the breakup blog? Now that I’m starting to get over it a little bit the whole concept of my blog has started to feel a bit confining and I’m unsure how to stretch it.

    Everything Will Be Alright – A Journey Through Couples Therapy

  4. Symbolicgodzilla – thanks for an interesting question.

    For me even from day one this was about much more than the breakup . Yes, there has been a lot about that, but just as importantly it was about starting writing again, and about exploring my questions and challenges relating to singing. So no, it wasn’t a difficult transition, because I was able to continue with these themes, and add new ones as seemed natural.

    I suppose for me this is a “life blog” – I write about what matters to me at the time, and I encourage you to do the same.

    For some time it’s inevitable that the breakup will be taking up a lot of your mind, but I hope that as part of your recovery you find yourself doing new things, or doing old things with new enthusiasm.

    As your life fills with other things, I suspect that your blog will naturally follow… judging by some of your other comments, perhaps it may become a tango blog?

  5. Right now my subtitle focuses my blog on couples therapy (ironic since the couplehood is in a state of bizarre flux at the moment), maybe I should change it… I started a second blog about media criticism since it didn’t seem to fit together with the other blogs. Thanks for the advice and keeping up with your blog, it is so enjoyable to read.

    Everything Will Be Alright – A Journey Through Couples Therapy

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