A wanderer returns (pantoum poem)

I walk the streets alone, in a bubble of no sound
Through the noise and bustle of a foreign place.
Wandering, wondering and staring around.
Rediscovering a once-familiar space.

Distantly remembering once-feared dangers
I walk the streets alone, in a bubble of no sound
For protection against the eyes of the strangers
Wandering, wondering and staring around.

I walk in the strength of newfound pride,
Distantly remembering once feared dangers
Safe and quiet, and no longer driven to hide
For protection against the eyes of the strangers

Through the noise and bustle of a foreign place
I walk in the strength of newfound pride,
Rediscovering a once-familiar space.
Safe and quiet, and no longer driven to hide.

(Glasgow, March 2008)

I wrote this pantoum based on a prompt at readwritepoem.

NB – I realised too late that I’d not read the description of the structure properly and got the lines the wrong way round – it should be lines 2&4 of verse 1 becoming lines 1&3 of verse 2 rather than the opposite which was how I did it!)

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4 responses to “A wanderer returns (pantoum poem)

  1. I think this still has the same pantoum spirit, even if the format isn’t exactly the same. The subject matter works really well—I feel like the speaker goes through a transformation, and it’s displayed well via the setting and the—for lack of a better word—props in the piece.

    Thanks for sharing!

  2. It’s good, even if a little backwards.

    I wrote another pantoum!

    Severed

  3. I disregarded the rules and read the poem as is, and love it! The idea of someone finding a safe inner place through walking and moving in time works well for me. And the flow of the words is beautiful.

  4. Thanks for your comments – it’s an interesting challenge to keep the story moving while still using 50% of the same words from sentence to sentence!

    But this one did seem to flow nicely – I think I’ll try this format again.

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