It’s never easy to tell when you’re ready to start dating again. Probably there’s no right answer. I also think that it’s only by seeing what happens when you meet new people, particularly single ones of the opposite sex that you start to get a feeling of what you still have to resolve.
My first few dates after the breakup just made me sad to remember how amazingly well things had begun with my ex – I was making all sorts of unfair comparisons. Which made me vividly aware how much I was sort of expecting that meeting a new partner will always feel just as good. But that’s of course not necessarily true. I’m also very much aware that that sort of beginning is no guarantee that things will continue to go well afterwards – perhaps even the reverse!
Anyway, I wasn’t ready to start seeing somebody then, but starting to date again was really useful to show me what I needed to get out of my system.
Right now I find I’m in a very relaxed space about finding someone – open to the possibilities, keen to find someone special, but at the same time not at all afraid to challenge people on aspects of their behaviour that could potentially be a problem later on. To the extent that I’m afraid of anything, I’m more afraid of finding out about a problem too late than of never finding someone. Much healthier!
But I must go, I have a date tonight….