Words that sing

A small offer of refreshment for those of you enduring very hot weather…

Spanish is a delightful language, and has some fantastic words that I really feel we need in English, such as this one which I discovered today:

Espeluznar (verb)

1 - (hair) to cause to stand on end
2 - to terrify
3 - to ruffle

Not to mention:

Espeluznarse (reflexive verb)

1 - (hair) to stand on end
2 - to be terrified
3 - to become ruffled

I will now be looking out for a suitable context to drop this word into conversation - suggestions welcome!

On my way to a tango class last night, I was thinking about comfort zones and stepping over boundaries. In order to open yourself up to learn new things and have new experiences, you have to step out of the comfort zone and in doing so make yourself vulnerable. It’s often uncomfortable, and often requires bursting through a layer of “I can’t do this/it’s all going to go horribly wrong/wouldn’t it be embarassing if”. But the rewards are great.

And this led me to realise that at the moment I’m outside of almost all my comfort zones simultaneously. Which is perhaps not the ideal way to do it, as it’s draining. Which is part of the reason I’m doing a lot of retreating into the one comfort zone I brought with me - my books, and to some extent my writing. But if I look at my life as a whole, I’m actually spending most of it doing new and challenging things:

Comfort zone - hanging out with friends that you have known for ages.
Outside the comfort zone - being separated from your close friends and forced to go actively looking for new ones.

Comfort zone - doing tasks that are within your control and expertise at work
Outside the comfort zone  - constantly being forced to improvise and make decisions and plans on the basis of insufficient information, as well as dealing with an endlessly challenging interpersonal situation.

Comfort zone - doing what you know you enjoy, in places you’ve been to before.
Outside the comfort zone - going to new places, to learn new things, never being quite sure what to expect or how it will turn out.

Comfort zone - doing things the way you know best.
Outside the comfort zone - always examining what you do, considering how it could be different, challenging your conceptions about who you are and what you can do.

Comfort zone - often don’t use all your energy and resources
Outside the comfort zone - often find you’re drained and weary and in need of down time to recover.

Comfort zone is staying static and cosy.
Outside the comfort zone is being challenged to grow and change.

Though it’s not always comfortable, I feel that being this far outside my comfort zones is actually suiting me rather well. 

You Are 50% Extrovert, 50% Introvert

You’re a bit outgoing, a bit reservedLike most people, you enjoy being socialBut you also value the time you have alone You have struck a good balance!

The introversion/extroversion continuum is an interesting one for me. I’m sure most people who meet me think I’m pretty outgoing and extroverted… I’m generally pretty comfortable socially, and I have some key extrovert traits like liking to think out loud. And on most tests (e.g. Myers-Briggs) I come out towards the E side of the continuum (I cheated slightly to get the graphic above!). But I am also very comfortable alone, spending time with books and my imagination. Indeed I need time alone… and can get irritable if for some reason I don’t get the space I need. But I need company, too, or I eventually start feeling a bit low.

2 months ago I arrived in a new place where I effectively know nobody, and I’m interested to watch how I react. I am aware that I’m letting opportunities go by to meet new people, that I could be more proactive and that, if I did, I might indeed enjoy myself more because I would be getting a better balance of company and solitude.

Part of this is that my job leaves me tired and I do need some down time. My job is quite interpersonally challenging - for reasons which make it difficult to have a real social connection with the people who work in my team. And also leaves me needing to refill on solitude in my spare time. Also, after a week working in Spanish, I often find I want to be in English for a while, which rather limits the options

But there’s also a element of laziness - it’s just easier to stay at home, and read, and write, and sing. Going out takes organisation and planning, and sometimes I’m just too tired to organise in advance!

And, if I’m honest, there’s just a tinge of worry that people won’t want to hear from me, or meet up. Silly, but present at the back of my mind, even though I know it’s for no good reason.

It’s also strange to know that I’m only going to be here until the end of September, so there’re limited opportunities to really develop lasting friendships.

Still, I think it would be good for me to learn to shift my balance a bit more towards making the effort to meet people - not least if I wish to find a new partner (though now would be a bad time to meet someone because I know I have to leave soon!) I always do find myself energised by spending time with friends, so effort is perhaps the wrong word. Perhaps it’s just about trying to be a bit more proactive.

Excuse me, I have some phonecalls to make…

“Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. To ”Why am I here?” To uselessness. It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.” Enid Bagnold

As promised, here is another of the photos I took last weekend with my new camera:

“Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror” - Khalil Gibran

An eternal embrace - fossilised coral formations in the Cemetery of the Lords of Lipez

There’s nothing like getting up in the cold and the dark to watch a sunrise to remind you that doing unpleasant things can often have a spectactular pay off!

I’m just off to what I’m told is one of the most spectacular locations in the world… with my brand new camera!

So while I’ll not be posting for the next few days, I should have some good photos to reward you for your patience. In the meantime, I leave you with a gorgeous photo of my destination kindly posted on flickr by Tomas Rawski, just to whet your appetite!

Have a good weekend!

“There is dew in one flower and not in another, because one opens its cup and takes it in, while the other closes itself and the drop runs off.” James Aughey