Little boy – friday five poem

Who are you, you mysterious boy?
Boy who wanders through my dreams
Dreaming of freedom from your fear and pain?

Painfully, obsessively, you pick at the dirt,
Dirt that, you think, sullies the wholeness of your mind -
A mind that so desperately seeks to be clean.

In clean, neat script, you wrote “Little boy”, again
And again on your hopes’ bright, torn page…
Torn in your heart and fearing destruction.

And destroying hope, the dark blood drove you to despair -
Drove a cart and horses trampling and stamping,
Stamping confusion where you should have been most sure.

Oh sore-conflicted boy, who wanders – all alone
And always lonely along paths that are so strange.
Stranger to yourself, adrift in an ill-fitting world.

Our worlds met, one day, and I played at your side,
Beside you briefly in the sunlight, ’til your fear’s leaden weight
Led you back to tread again those lonely paths of shadow.

For the shadows in your mind led your search astray,
And so you strayed unknowingly into the marketplace of the soul,
Soul-bewitched and swindled by its rainbow-sick illusions.

Illusions – the gift of healing, the lure of special insight-
But fear’s insight blinded you, and your hurting heart
Hurt others – hurt them, yes, far more than you could bear.

So barefoot and soul-battered, so lost and so alone
Your lonely shadow wanders on, in life and in my dreams.
Oh dream-bound boy, how dark the paths where you are bound to walk.

I wish you may walk safe and sure through your life’s dark maze,
Unmaze yourself, grow strong, and be the man you wish to be.
Be whole and true, and know the peace of being who you are.

This poem was prompted by Friday Five at Poefusion – a challenge to write a poem incorporating the words/phrases – little boy, torn page, market, cart, and dirt.

Strange sunset – haiku

Mountain flames, fire smokes -
Brush and alpenglow burn red
Under eggshell sky

Living outside the comfort zone

On my way to a tango class last night, I was thinking about comfort zones and stepping over boundaries. In order to open yourself up to learn new things and have new experiences, you have to step out of the comfort zone and in doing so make yourself vulnerable. It’s often uncomfortable, and often requires bursting through a layer of “I can’t do this/it’s all going to go horribly wrong/wouldn’t it be embarassing if”. But the rewards are great.

And this led me to realise that at the moment I’m outside of almost all my comfort zones simultaneously. Which is perhaps not the ideal way to do it, as it’s draining. Which is part of the reason I’m doing a lot of retreating into the one comfort zone I brought with me - my books, and to some extent my writing. But if I look at my life as a whole, I’m actually spending most of it doing new and challenging things:

Comfort zone – hanging out with friends that you have known for ages.
Outside the comfort zone - being separated from your close friends and forced to go actively looking for new ones.

Comfort zone – doing tasks that are within your control and expertise at work
Outside the comfort zone  – constantly being forced to improvise and make decisions and plans on the basis of insufficient information, as well as dealing with an endlessly challenging interpersonal situation.

Comfort zone – doing what you know you enjoy, in places you’ve been to before.
Outside the comfort zone – going to new places, to learn new things, never being quite sure what to expect or how it will turn out.

Comfort zone – doing things the way you know best.
Outside the comfort zone – always examining what you do, considering how it could be different, challenging your conceptions about who you are and what you can do.

Comfort zone – often don’t use all your energy and resources
Outside the comfort zone – often find you’re drained and weary and in need of down time to recover.

Comfort zone is staying static and cosy.
Outside the comfort zone is being challenged to grow and change.

Though it’s not always comfortable, I feel that being this far outside my comfort zones is actually suiting me rather well.