Valentine
No rose – my gift tells
Love’s power, passion and pain -
A truthful onion.
Challenged by readwritepoem, I have tried to condense a poem that I love (Carol Ann Duffy’s valentine) into that most compact format, the haiku. A challenging exercise, which loses a lot of the qualities of the original in the process, but it did make me focus on that poem in a new way.
Onion heart, originally uploaded by Big.Col.
9 responses so far ↓
mariacristina // June 2, 2008 at 6:49 pm |
Cool photo! I’ll have to read the original poem to see how you’ve changed it.
nathan1313 // June 2, 2008 at 7:12 pm |
I’m glad to have been introduced to Duffy’s poem and yours. You really do condense the sense of the original. This must have been difficult.
suburbanlife // June 2, 2008 at 9:04 pm |
The onion is a symbol for truthful essence. I have used it as a symbolic image addition to a portrait painting. (See symbolic portraits at gmorrison.ca)
shall have to check out the poenm you referenced. G
suburbanlife // June 2, 2008 at 9:06 pm |
No easy thing to condense the original poem to a haiku – you did it rather effectively. G
mary // June 2, 2008 at 10:19 pm |
I love that last line. How much did you have to change? I guess I should follow the link to see the original…
Crafty Green Poet // June 3, 2008 at 3:58 am |
I know the original poem quite well and I like how you’ve condensed it.
lirone // June 3, 2008 at 11:21 am |
I love the original poem… it works on so many levels, some of which were inevitably lost in the condensation into a haiku. But it really made me focus on what I took from this poem – the honesty about the power of love, for good and bad, rather than its fluffiness and romance.
ravenswingpoetry // June 3, 2008 at 12:55 pm |
I think you condensed the meaning and essence of that poem into your haiku very well. Awesome.
-Nicole
durable pigments // June 4, 2008 at 11:10 am |
I just love the condensing of a longer piece int o haiku. What a perfect pairing of image and words here! Love the image of the “onion Valentine.”