My
dreams are a shifting ocean of night
Where strange and secret creatures dwell
Far removed from the revealing light.
Randomly my nets dip into the swell
And bring me a shadow back from the deep,
Faint as the sussuration of a shell.
But mostly the secrets are hidden by sleep.
The darkling memories of joy or flight
Are forgotten as I reascend from the deep
This is inspired by readwritepoem’s prompt of “dreams” – for other people’s work on the same topic, click here . I initially found the topic a bit difficult, because I rarely remember my dreams, but then decided to write about the mysteriousness of unremembered dreams!
It’s a slightly modified terza rima – the middle line from the last verse uses the same rhyme as the outer lines of the first verse.













5 responses so far ↓
Linda Jacobs // March 10, 2008 at 8:50 pm |
This is so wll written that the rhyme is hardly noticeable! The rhythm is that of the ocean, too!
mariacristina // March 10, 2008 at 9:34 pm |
lirone, your poem reads like a song! And the photo is just right for the shadows emerging and descending from the depths of sleep. Your words are lovely.
Jessica // March 11, 2008 at 1:37 am |
Beautiful use of the form. I especially love the line: Faint as the sussuration of a shell.
Crafty Green Poet // March 11, 2008 at 8:54 am |
nice rhythm and I know what you mean about dreams being like an ocean…
artpredator // March 14, 2008 at 7:32 pm |
the image here is very similar to the one in the dream i had last night and which i am writing about for a readwritepoem post i’ll put up later today…
in fact i think i read your poem as part of the poetry train? maybe it even influenced my dream
i hope you’ll check out the post later–it should be up about 5pm California time
http://artpredator.wordpress.com